If you’ve ever been told ‘yer bum’s oot the windae’ or told you have a face ‘like a well skelped erse’, then you’ll know us Scots love nothing more than a well crafted insult.

From the modern ‘Yer Da sells Avon’ to the traditional ‘away an bile yer heid’, here are some of the best Scottish insults.

You’ll often hear these words from angry Scots. (Image: Getty)

Names – insults you would call people

Eejit/Bampot/Numpty/Tube/Dafty – The Scots don’t suffer fools gladly and as a result there are numerous words for idiot in the Scottish vocabulary.

“See him, he’s a bloody eejit.”

Bawbag – A new favourite for many, it literally means scrotum, but has grown to encompass much more than that.

“That guy Davey is a total Bawbag.”

Dobber / Fud/Walloper/Tadger – These four are pretty interchangeable. Various forms of words for genitals, they are usually used as a way to describe people who are annoying.

“I canny be arsed with him, he’s being a tadger.”

Rocket/Nugget/Dafty/Roaster/Melt – Another raft of expressions for people you’d happily avoid if you could.

“That bird’s a rocket, she’s tuned to the moon.”

Lavvy heid – (Toilet head) somebody who is full of crap.

“Don’t believe a word that comes out of lavvy heid’s gub.”

Clipe – someone who is known to grass people up.

“What you looking so smug for? You’re just as bad ya wee clipe.”

Boot/Cow – usually aimed at women in a derogatory way.

“See her, she’s a nosey cow.”

Jobby – Scots word for sh*t.

“Why does someone not know how to flush the toilet after they’ve done a jobby? Disgusting!”


You’re doing my nut in – (You’re doing my head in) A way to tell someone they are annoying you. Combine with some of the insults above for a more devastating effect.

“See you ya numpty, you’re doing my nut in with all of these questions.

Shut yer puss – (shut your face) – usually aimed at someone who is being loud.

“Will you shut yer puss, I’m trying to listen to what the guy is saying.”

Yer bums oot the windae – You’re talking nonsense.

Away an bile yer heid – (Away and boil your head) Beat it.

“Och, away an bile yer heaid pal.”

Face like a well skelped erse/like bulldog licking piss off a nettle/Yiv a face like a skelpit erse (doric) – They are ugly.

“Why do you fancy him? He’s got a face like a well skelped erse.”

Yer a riddy – You’re embarrassing.

“Are you actually going out like that? That’s a pure riddy.”

Bolt – Get to.

“Bolt ya dafty.”

Yer awfy crabbit – You’re awfully grumpy.

“Jeez, she’s awfy crabbit this mornin.”

You’re humming – You smell bad or smell of smell of something.

That is bogging/hoaching – Usually refers to something that is bad.

“I like him but his patter is hoaching.”

He’s glaikit – Someone that is foolish, or thoughtless.

Yer aff yer heid – You’re crazy. Usually aimed at someone who is always coming up with silly ideas.

“You honestly think that will work? You’re aff your heid.”

Ye canna mak a silk purse oot o’ a sow’s ear (doric) – Make-up isn’t going to hide that face.

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